Yes Be Your Yes

Yesterday morning I had a moment to teach my oldest daughter Kalayla something invaluable that I have been thinking a lot about the last few weeks in my own life.

At her school they are always doing fundraisers for different causes which is a great thing. There are many organizations that her school helps with and usually each month their chapel money is designated to help a different ministry or organization. This month they made a game out of it and have buckets for each class. Change in coins counts for your total and bills count against your total. This means you put your bills you bring in for other classes buckets and coins for your class. Great idea and the kids really get into it.

So back to yesterday morning. We are all up and just finished breakfast. As I am waiting in the kitchen for Kalayla with Shannon and the baby, she walks in with a black plastic bag full of change. I asked her what the change was for and she proceeds to tell me that it is to help her class win at donation wars. I ask her where she got the change from and she says from my donation envelope.

A little back story here is that our daughter has a savings, spending, and donation envelope we got her to try and learn how to manage money better. The thing is we really haven't been helping her a lot with it lately.

Ok, so the change was coming from her donation envelope. I asked if it was all of the money from your donation envelope and she said yes.

 Now here is the thing, last year Kalayla came up to me and said daddy I have money I want to donate to the Brazil trip. (A mission trip I lead through my church). I was blown away that my 8 year old at the time was thinking about donating to this trip. It was exciting to see, but we were about to leave on the trip so I let her know that she could hang on to it or use it for something else because we had finally finished paying for our whole trip. She then said that she wanted to save up her giving money all year and then donate it to the Brazil trip next year. I asked if she really wanted to do that and she said yes.

Fast forward back to yesterday. I am in the kitchen with Kalayla holding all of her money ready to bring it to her school so that her class can win the donation war challenge. I sit her down and talk with her about how she had said the money was for Brazil and I was confused why she was donating it for something else. Sparing you the whole conversation and you may have already guessed she was excited to bring money to help her class win. I asked her what the money was for and she said she didn't remember and then after thinking for a bit was able to tell me.

There were so many lessons in this 5 minute exchange that I wanted  to work through with her and we touched on a few of them as far as knowing what you are donating to, why do we donate, but most importantly I told her she needed to let her yes be her yes and her no be her no. (James  5:12)

I began reminding her about what we talked about last year and what she wanted to donate her money to and she started to get upset because she thought she was still doing good. I asked her what was the reason she wanted to donate to said cause and a big part of it was because it was a competition. I get it. I let her know that it wasn't that she was doing something wrong by donating, but by changing her word essentially to have fun or benefit her self even though it was benefiting others.

"Let what you say be simply 'yes' or 'no'; anything more than this comes from evil."

I shared this bible verse with her and asked her if she knew what it meant.  She said she did. I told her that it isn't about making promises, crossing our hearts, swearing, or blood oath. In life none of those things are necessary if we let our yes be our yes. If we never make a promise in  our whole life, but always let our yes be our yes it is better than  a promise. People around you will know that you keep your word no matter what you say. You don't let life or passion get the best of you when you are telling someone you will do something.

It was something that after I got to share with her I began to reflect on it myself. I for one have not always let my yes be my yes. That also applies to letting your no be your no. You can not say no to someone and then decide ok you will help them out, or let them use something of your. If this continues it gives a false impression of yourself that you are someone who will waiver and can be swayed either way. This also allows opportunity to be taken advantage of being over worked, over committed, stressed, and more. In ministry it took me a couple years to be able to say no. I was always saying yes and got to the point where I was doing so many things that weren't apart of my ministry that I and the ministry began to suffer because of it. 

We are called to be clear and honest in our relations with those around us so that we can show ourselves in the true light of who we are. We are called to be sons and daughters of our Savior. To show that he is in us as we are in him we need to allow our choices small or large to be thought through before responded to. When we don't do these we can hurt others and ourselves. 

Like I said earlier this is something that I struggle with and is the reason I am writing about it right now. I more than I can count have told my wife I would do something for her, or take care of something and didn't follow through. I let her down as a husband, friend, and brother in Christ. I have created uncertainty at times in our relationships with my wife's ability to trust when I say something. This is a fault in which I desperately need and want to change about myself and need to work on it daily to honor not only my wife my but my Savior. Who let his word be his promise. That he was and is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He kept his word so that we can be saved. We are called to keep our word so that we can show his love through all that we say and do.